The Self-Absorption Overlay We are all self-absorbed to at least some degree.

The Self-Absorption Overlay We are all self-absorbed to at least some degree. Problems occur when we spends so much time focused on ourselves that it starts to negatively impact on our life. It can lead us into addiction, and interfere with our ability to build successful relationships. When we are always thinking about ourselves will suffer a lot more. Western culture encourages us to develop narcissistic tendencies because of focus on individuality. Self-absorption is far less common in eastern cultures where the focus is on the community.


Self-absorption occurs when we become so preoccupied with ourselves that we lose touch with the outside world. We spend a significant amount of time thinking about ourselves, but some of us spend almost all our time trapped inside our own narrow concerns. We will become so caught up in our own thoughts and feelings that we ignore the thoughts and feelings of other people.


Self-absorption overlay is being trapped inside a prison. It prevents us from getting the most out of our recovery.

The more we become focused on our problems the more we will tend to suffer. Thinking about personal difficulties excessively is not beneficial in any way. When we become less self-absorbed tend to be a lot happier.

Self-absorption overlay is an unattractive character trait. It can be hard for us who are so focused on ourselves to make any sort of genuine friendships. It can also make it difficult for people to establish romantic relationships if they appear too needy.

It can be really difficult for friends because feels like their own needs are always being ignored. When we are self-absorbed we do not really care about other people’s feelings and perspective. It is all me, me, me .
When we are over-layered with self-absorbed we become more prone to becoming addicted to alcohol or drugs. This obsession with self is one of the characteristics of the addiction.


When we have self absorption we have an overlaying feeling of being superior to everyone else. This manifests in us as an inability to recognise the feelings and emotions of other peopleWe have a deep seated need to exaggerate achievements, skills, or talents we may or may not possess.We will expect others to follow our plans.
We develop a deep seated need for constant attention and praise.
Our self esteem is fragile to non-existent. Our exterior personality is one of Grandiosity and self-importance.We have an inability to handle criticism.We become easily offended and hurt

We Set goals that are far too high and becoming disappointed when they are not achieved becoming uncaring about the problems other people experience.Looking down on people who are considered inferior and consequently having inability to maintain relationships becoming jealousy of successful people.We spend inordinate amounts of time fanaticising about power and success


Substance dependents tend to be overly self-absorbed and this tendency usually continues into sobriety. It is suggested that it is this proneness to self-absorption that leads the individual into addiction in the first place. If we fail to reduce our level of self-absorption we may find it impossible to find real happiness in a life away from alcohol or drugs.

There are different ways that we can combat self-obsession such as:

Helping other people is probably the most effective way of reducing the obsession with self. By focusing on other people’s problems we are able to see beyond their own narrow concerns.
Meditation may seem to be a selfish activity to those who have never practiced it but it is quite the opposite. Loving kindness meditation can greatly increase the amount of compassion that the individual feels for other people. Meditation techniques such as the ten stage courses are wonderful at moving us away from the obsession with self.

We can train ourselves to think more about other people. It becomes a habit and eventually we will be more outwardly focused without even trying. Empathy is the ability to understand how the other person is feeling. It is possible to develop more empathy by just practicing it.Learning to listen is a vital skill us who wants to reduce our focus on self. This means being fully attentive when the other person is speaking. A good idea is to silently count to ten after the other person has stopped talking before giving a reply. Rejoicing in the success of stagers and others is also highly beneficial to rejoining our child within and brokering a new healthy environment.